Are you being a Treasure to your Husband?
How long have you been married? I have been married long enough to have lost a little bit of the spark that once characterized our marriage. For us when we had kids things changed pretty quickly and I actually became a bit disillusioned by married life. The luster of married life quickly became dull in the pile of dirty diapers and crying children. It wasn’t anything I had envisioned it to be. Very soon in our marriage I had lost all sight of being a treasure for my husband. I wanted my life to be rich and full of romance and connection between my husband and I. Yet those things got lost some where along the way.
Losing the Treasure
I began to see my husband’s faults, and rather than seeing the man I had fallen in love with I saw his faults and mistakes. My attitude became a bit discontent. I also found myself busy with life, kids, work, chores, meals and all the other things that fill up a mom’s day. I found I had stopped seeing my husband through God’s eyes and I began seeing my husband through my own slanted view of life.
As this change happened I found that I had also stopped working at our relationship in other ways. I stopped trying to charm my husband. I stopped trying to make sure I presented myself in a way that he found attractive. I even stopped greeting him when he came into the door.
I wasn’t doing all these things because I was angry with my husband. I was simply overwhelmed and exhausted. I was barely keeping my head above water being a mommy and I really didn’t think I could manage being a wife too. I struggled because it felt like he was not understanding my struggles as a new mom. I lost interest in being a treasure.
Fighting for the Treasure
Time has passed and the kids are not all so little any more. I am not as overwhelmed as I once was with being a mother, but I find those habits I learned early on in our marriage are still clinging on to my behaviors. Habits have a way of doing that don’t they? I find I have to be diligent to keep cleaning house in my heart. I am learning that I have to fight for our marriage if I am going to be a treasure to my husband.
I have often wondered what happened, how did things change so much over time. But it doesn’t take long for me to remember all the tiny baby steps that brought us to a place we have been to. A place where it takes a lot more work to have the connection we once had without any effort at all.
This week, in our Blogging Through The Bible Series, we are in the Song of Songs, also called the Song of Solomon. Reading through these first few chapters takes me back to those early days. These chapters remind me of the fun we had as newlyweds.
I am so thankful that the Lord gives us encouragement and instruction even in the area of relationships. God knows that living as husband and wife takes so much effort. God knows that our normal tendency is to drift apart. God also knows that we are sinful people who often are too busy seeking after their own desires and goals.
Are you being a treasure to your husband? Are you doing the work that you need to do in order to be the woman who God is calling you to be for your husband? Are you seeking to see your husband through God’s eyes? Or have you allowed the disillusionment of life to blind you to who the man God is creating in your husband?
Being a Treasure
Throughout chapters 1-5 of the Song of Songs we see a young couple who are passionate about each other. I am pretty sure you can remember a time when you were passionate about your husband. If you didn’t have that delight in your man I doubt you would have married him. Perhaps we should take time this week and really remember that passion and that delight. I am pretty sure that if we do we will find that God does some wonderful things in our marriage.
I am aware that over time hurts are inflicted and scars tend to hide the memories that were once such a delight to think about. For some of you there are some deep wounds that feel as though they could never be healed. Yet thousands of years ago Jesus was crucified on a cross. He knew at that time that your husband would commit those sins against you. He knew that you would commit your own sins against your husband. Take a moment and think about the worse thing your husband has ever done. Now stop and realize that Jesus KNEW about that when he was dying on the cross for you and me. How do I now this:
Romans 5: 8 But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.
Did you catch that? While you were still in sin God was sending his son to die for you! So Jesus knew the most horrible thing you would ever do even if you haven’t done it yet. And he still wanted to restore your relationship with himself. Isn’t that pretty powerful?
So if God wanted us to be right with HIM even though we were still sinful and a mess, don’t you think you can forgive your spouse for those pains they have caused? Maybe you can begin to allow him to heal your heart so that you can then learn to delight in your spouse again?
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