marriage, Spiritual health

Learning to Love our husbands.

I say I love my husband, but am I willing to give up my selfish desires in order to really demonstrate love for him?

As a young lady I believed so many of the fairy tale stories that always ended in, “And they lived happily ever after.” I wanted that happily ever after.  I thought that once I was married life with my husband would be the easy part.  I didn’t pay attention, or I wasn’t really told that life after the wedding was the hardest part of all.

I have read many books on marriage, and I have been through Bible studies with my husband that talked about marriage and the work it takes to really build a lasting marriage.  But the truth is it hasn’t always sunk in. You see….

I am selfish.

I want things to revolve around me.

I want my husband to take care of me.

I want my husband to not have issues that require things from me.

I am selfish.

In marriage we have to learn to die to ourselves and learn to pour ourselves out for others, this can be a painful process.


I knew I was selfish before I got married.  I even remember talking about how selfish I was before I got married.  But I didn’t really get it. I did not really understand that my wicked heart was so entangled within itself.  I did not fully understand that my goal in marriage was to serve my husband and to grow in holiness.  I wanted my goal in marriage to be my happiness.  Isn’t that what our culture tells us marriage is for, to make us fulfilled and contented.

I have been married for just over 8 years.  I can tell you marriage is hard. But I wouldn’t trade all the tears, all the fights, and all the struggle for anything.  My Lord is growing me through this tug of war I call marriage.  My Lord Jesus is teaching me that I am not my own master.  My will needs to be submitted to that of another.  My will needs to be submitted to that of my Lord Jesus Christ. In doing that, in laying down my wants I am able to serve those around me and seek out ways to build them up.

I am not always good at this, you see I am selfish.

But I am moving in the direction that God wants me to. I am not standing still.  Sometimes he has to drag me a little, but I am still moving forward.

Love is more than a feeling. Love is sacrifice.  The giving of oneself for another.  In fact the Bible tells us that “Greater Love has NO man than this; that he lay down his life for his friend.”

I want to love my husband.  I need to lay down my life for him.

I don’t believe that marriage looks at all like our culture portrays. Marriage needs to reflect Christ.  Marriage needs to reflect sacrifice.  I am thankful for the growth God has brought in me through my husband.  I pray that I will continue to grow more towards Jesus each day. And in so doing grow in Love for my husband.


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