Home, Intentional Living, Parenting

Ideals, Expectations, and Reality

This morning I woke up with a lot of ideas for the day and expectations on how I would be a perfect mommy. Then the kids woke up.


The reality is a bit messier!

I cooked grits, eggs, and oatmeal for breakfast thinking it would be a cozy nice breakfast just me and the kids.  Instead it became more along the lines of chaos.  Littlest one screaming, next one fussy, kids constantly asking for this or that.  “Mommy I want grits and eggs”  “Mommy I don’t like eggs”  “Mommy I want eggs but no grits” Oy! my head hurts just thinking about how most of our mornings go.

I usually have these ideal images in my mind of how to make our day cozy, and nice.  Things usually change pretty quickly.  Most days don’t turn out anything at all like I had hoped or expected.

Do you have expectations in your head of what motherhood was going to look like?

I must admit that I have many ideas in my head of what being a mother is like. Most of these images are similar to the one below.

Calm and Beautiful Family, All Smiling! That isn't what My family usually looks like. ;-)

I plan out birthday parties that include ideas of quiet children eating cake and playing sweetly together at some quiet game. I have images of adults having calm conversations while the children play quietly near by. There is always the ideas of a bountiful table full of wonderful food prepared with ease, and loved by everyone.

Those images are just that. Images in my head.

They don’t reflect reality at all. Instead my birthday parties are stressful events that usually involve me rushing around several hours before to get the house presentable for company while preparing as much food as possible for the coming chaos of children that will be running circles around the house while the adults try to have a conversation in between the screams from said children running around the house.

Being a mother is exhausting!

But each of these crazy moments that don’t look like the images in my head are blessings for my children. They are times my kids will remember as they grow up and hopefully remember fondly. I am learning to be OK with the mess. I am learning that building a relationship is more important that cleaning a room. I am learning that loving a child is more important that folding the laundry. And I am learning that leading a heart to Christ is more important than all of it.

Learning to be ok with the interruptions, and the messes.  Learning to be ok with the chaos.  I think that this is more of what motherhood is about rather than the picture perfect families that are seen in magazines.  Love your kids, even if that means you get nothing done that day besides holding a screaming baby.  That baby won’t scream forever.  (At least that is what I keep telling myself!) 😉

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