When you look at your husband what do you see? Do you see his faults? Do you see his weaknesses? Do you see how he hurt you this morning before he left the house for work? Do you take the time to really look at your husband?
There are times when I look at my husband and I am reminded of his strengths and how God has blessed him. There are other times when I look at the man who God has given me as my husband and all I see are his faults. I am blinded by hurts and struggles that we have been through. I don’t see the man I married as God sees him instead I see my own source of pain.
It is so easy to become blind. I allow my thoughts to drift, and linger on hurts and struggles. Rather than thinking about the blessings I have because my husband is in my life, I dwell on all the negatives. I do not cultivate a spirit of thankfulness and joy in the man who God has allowed me to marry. Instead of contemplating his courage and strengths I think about all the hurts and struggles. I allow discontentment to grow and fester in my heart. I am falling into a trap that is leading me down a path of discontentment and dissatisfaction with my husband. I allow myself to be blinded by my own selfish expectations and do not look at my husband through God’s eyes. I want my heart to be focused on blessing my husband and building him up, rather than on tearing him down.
Many times we are quick to teach our boys that they need to control their thoughts when it comes to the area of sexual temptation, but are we teaching our girls and boys to control their thoughts when it comes to other types of temptations that begin in the mind? We believe that the men in our lives can learn to train their thinking to fight off the sexual onslaught they face everyday, yet we are not taking into account that we can control our thoughts as well. Maybe we are allowing our emotions to run away with us, and instead of taking those thoughts captive we begin to dwell on them and actually feed into them. I believe that we can control to some extent the emotions, and thoughts that come into our heads. I know that it is a constant battle, and fight, but we still must be working to keep the right mindset.
What about you? Do you find yourself dwelling on your husband’s faults? Do you find yourself criticising him for things that you should have forgiven him for long ago? This idea takes me back to our word for the week that I am using to teach character qualities to my children.
Am I being kind to my husband? Am I tender-hearted towards him? Am I forgiving my husband? God is calling us to do all of these things. I am to forgive, not because my husband is such a perfect man and deserves to be forgiven over and over again. I am to forgive because God has Forgiven Me.
Learning Character qualities is not just for our children. As a wife I need to be treating my husband with kindness as well. When blinded by circumstances and pain, I find it difficult to realize how hurtful my actions may be.
Are you blind to who your husband really is? Are you blind to your own sin?
Dear Jesus, Please open our eyes to see our husbands with your eyes. Remove the blinders that keep us from seeing the hearts of our husbands. I pray dear Jesus that you will teach me to Love my husband in a way that is reflecting you to my husband. Open my eyes, so that I can see my own sin, and so that I can see what walls I am building that separate me from my husband.