Intentional Living, marriage, Wife, Womanhood

Leaning In

Have you had one of those weeks when everything seemed to be going the wrong direction between you and your husband? Communicating with him seems impossible and there is something happening at every turn to push you away from your husband? That is the time to be leaning in, not pulling away.

GodForgave
I have had weeks like that. Weeks when I want to pull away from the man I married rather than lean into that relationship because the hurt is so fresh and painful. I have a tendency to do that with any relationship, but even more so with my husband. When we have had a hard week, or my feelings have been hurt all I want is to pull away and pout in a corner. The last thing I want to do is to go sit next to him on the couch, and cuddle.

That is exactly what I SHOULD do!public-domain-images-free-stock-photos-high-quality-resolution-downloads-unsplash0071

When life is tossing a barrage of hurtful things into your marriage the last thing in the world you should do is to pull away from your husband. That is the time you need to lean in and try to get close to that man you vowed to spend the rest of your life with. Here are a few ideas on how to move close to your husband even when your heart is heavy and you may not want to.

  • Pray for your husband. – Many people have said this before, but it is still true. It is hard to pray for someone you are angry with talk to Jesus and tell him all about your feelings confess any sins you may have and ask Him to give you a heart for your husband.
  • Give your husband a shoulder rub while you pray for him. – Physical contact helps to bring two people together, and it may help to lower your blood pressure, which may be needed if you are angry. Even if you are the one who is not getting the back rub you actually touching your husband might actually be the one to benefit from the physical contact
  • Ask your husband to set aside some time later in the day to talk about what you are feeling — I find that I need some time to process my feelings before I can safely discuss my hurt feelings. I tend to lash out in anger and frustration before I actually have fully worked through the situation.

God wants unity in marriage, and if there is conflict that is the absence of unity. So it seems reasonable to assume that God wants us to work through that conflict as quickly as possible.

I personally struggle with forgiving my husband when we are having one of those weeks. I want to be angry and punish him as if all the problems we are facing is some how his fault. (Usually they aren’t, but merely circumstances that are beyond anyone’s control.) I sit back in judgement on my husband questioning why he hasn’t fixed a situation and not even considering if maybe there is something I should be doing.

There are so many scripture passages that come to mind about these situations. My guess is, while you are reading this that you can easily see my failures and my mistakes in assuming my husband should be the one to fix ALL the problems of the world. Maybe we both should take some time and look at our own guilt. Maybe we can’t resolve the problem, but we can take steps to love our husbands. I am not saying letting go is easy, but remember that God has called us to forgive not because of anything our husbands deserve, but rather because God forgave us.

woman-571715_640Dear Jesus, please be with each and every hurting heart that reads these words. It is not easy to look at our hearts and consider our own faults. please give us a spirit of humility and grace as we seek to love our husbands well.

How can I pray for you this week? Please feel free to either email me or comment below.

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7 thoughts on “Leaning In

  1. Thank you so much for these words. I know what it is like to struggle with anger or frustration. God is able to work things out so much better when we come before him to confess. Our hearts are open, moldable and willing. Thank you for encouraging us all in love and in truth!

  2. Thank you so much for these words. I know what it is like to struggle with anger or frustration. God is able to work things out so much better when we come before him to confess. Our hearts are open, moldable and willing. Thank you for encouraging us all in love and in truth!

  3. Thank you for your sweet words of encouragement. I too have often found that praying for the person I am having a conflict with not only softens my heart but theirs as well. I’m one of your neighbors at the #RaRaLinkup I also pinned and voted for you too. 🙂

  4. Thank you for your sweet words of encouragement. I too have often found that praying for the person I am having a conflict with not only softens my heart but theirs as well. I’m one of your neighbors at the #RaRaLinkup I also pinned and voted for you too. 🙂

  5. Thank you for this post. I am your neighbor at the #RaRaLinkup today. I too wrote about marriage and the pulling away that comes when stress in your marriage makes you feel inadequate. I have a similar reaction to you and I need to remember to lean in. Thanks for the practical tips to put your advice in action. It helps to have an action step.

  6. Wonderful post! I am recently married and appreciate all the godly advice one can write about! Times like this are tough, but you are so right about forgiveness and I love your tips on ways to move close to our husband even if we don’t want to. Thank you for linking up today 🙂

  7. Wonderful post! I am recently married and appreciate all the godly advice one can write about! Times like this are tough, but you are so right about forgiveness and I love your tips on ways to move close to our husband even if we don’t want to. Thank you for linking up today 🙂

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