A Few years ago I share a little of what some of my mornings are like when my health isn’t the best. I still have days like this, and I know from connecting with others over the years that there are many women, mothers, fathers, daughters and sons who struggle each and every day with trying to live a life that just seems too much. Sometimes the week is just too hard.
There are days when living with Chronic Illness really stretches me past my ability to endure. Those mornings when I lay in bed pleading with God for strength just to roll over and sit up. And when I finally manage to rise to a sitting position having to hold on to the wall to keep from falling over while my head spins uncontrollably.
I lay there knowing that my children need me, I hear the older ones moving around the house. We have a rule here that unless there is something wrong the kids are to play quietly in their room until 8:00 am. My goal is to get up by 6:00am to have my own personal devotional time, it doesn’t always happen. There are days like this morning when I am still in bed at 8:11 am and begging to stay in bed. I lay there listening to my youngest over the monitor and knowing I needed to get up and get breakfast.
Finally I got myself moving and staggered to the bathroom to get cleaned up and dressed for the day. The dizziness has been particularly bad with this current cold that I am dealing with. I take one step at a time, one task at a time. methodically moving through my morning routine. I finally reached the point when I was too tired to keep moving and sat for a bit to drink some coffee.
I do not take any prescription medications for my Fibromyalgia or other illnesses. There have been some in the Fibro community that believe I must not be that sick if I can live without medications. The truth is I am sick. Very sick. But I have never found a pain medication that actually helps my fibro pain. Why should I put a medicine in my body that does not actually help me at all? Another reason is that I don’t have medical insurance for myself. Because of the state I live in and our financial position, we fall in a “No Man’s Land” in regard to the Obama care mandate.
I don’t know that I would take medication even if I did have medical insurance though. If it does not help why should I put it in my body?
I have found some relief with diet changes, and natural supplements. I have also found some mild relief from the use of Essential Oils.
Am I pain-free? No.
Am I energetic and able to do what I want? No.
Most days I am able to function and care for my family. Most days. Not every day.
I spend most of my time at home. I simply do not have the endurance to run around a lot outside of the home. And I become very stressed very quickly when overstimulated. And when that happens I become so exhausted I struggle to function.
I have struggled with the Whys of being sick. Why do I have to deal with this terrible illness when I have 5 beautiful children to care for. And I have been learning a lot from reading a book by Philip Yancey The Question that Never Goes Away. I am finding some comfort from his reminders that when Jesus was on earth he came to those people in pain and suffering and he wept with them, and he healed them. God loves us. He told us that there would be suffering in this life. But I agree with Philip Yancey that God weeps over our suffering as we do. Does that mean that God is incapable to removing our suffering? No God is capable. And he stepped into human existence by sending his son Jesus Christ to deal with the causes of our suffering.
WE may not like how God does things that He does, but as scripture asks, does the clay tell the potter how it should be made?
Our heavenly Father is trustworthy.
Our Savior is Faithful.
So when the days are hard. I can lean on the everlasting arms of my dear Jesus Christ.
What do you do to manage those days that just seem too hard to manage?
I thank you that you are over all things, and that you are bigger than what we can begin to imagine. I am comforted that your ways are higher than my ways and that you know so much more than I can possible understand. Please be my strength today. I pray also for those who are dealing with pain and struggle on a day-to-day basis.