What is it like to live with a chronic illness on the day-to-day basis? What does life look like each moment through the day living with Fibromyalgia? Well that is a difficult question to answer because it looks different in every person. My experience with Fibromyalgia looks different from someone else’s because the disease presents differently in every person. In addition to that each person has a multitude of other health concerns that may accompany the diagnosis of Fibromyalgia.
I can tell you what a day for me looks like, but even one day is different from another day. And even during a flare the symptoms are not always consistent.
This week has been a difficult week for me. I have been spiraling downhill in regards to my health this week. I am beginning to wonder if I am just over tired, or if there is a bad flare starting. Even though I have been living with this disease for 10 years it seems to constantly manifest itself differently. This week I am dealing with overwhelming fatigue, achiness, stiffness, and inability to handle a lot of stimulation. Friday it seemed to reach its peak. I was so tired I cancelled our school time and had the kids take a nap/ quiet time so that I could get a little nap in. I thought I was feeling a bit better after the nap so I took the kids to the store to pick up a few things that we needed for the weekend.
I am thankful that my husband got off work when he did, and was able to meet us at the store. We stopped at 2 different stores. By the time we arrived at the second store I was dizzy, and weak. I was having trouble concentrating, and simply walking around was a challenge. I had to lean heavily on the buggy as we made our way through the store. By the time we got home I was so dizzy I couldn’t stand up for very long. My head was so disoriented from the dizziness and fibro fog I wasn’t much use for anything. I hid in our bedroom and rested while my sweet husband tended to dinner and the children.
As often happens to me during a bad flare I had an awful time falling asleep and lay awake for a time feeling all the aches and pains in my body. I also had to be careful and lie very still, if I turned too much or too quickly my head would spin terribly.
I was finally able to fall asleep and thankfully slept through till about 5:30 this morning. That can also be a blessing to be able to sleep that long without interruptions.
When I got up to head to the shower this morning I was very thankful that the wall is close to my side of the bed. I was even careful as I sat up and then slowly stood up, but even still I ended up clinging to the wall as I waited for my head to stop spinning.
This morning I am weak, tired–the sort of tired that you feel after you have had a really long day at a very physical job–dizzy, and I am getting a migraine.
I don’t write about all this so that you will feel sorry for me or to complain about this life I have been given. But I do want people to understand that Fibromyalgia is a very serious illness. It is not just all in my head. It is not just being tired. It won’t be fixed by this type of diet or that type of treatment. I want people to see that each day I win a battle simply by getting out of bed in spite of the stiffness and pain.
I am thankful that God sustains me through this disease because without His grace I don’t know what I would do.